We’re taught to “tie your camel and trust in Allah” . In other words, what you want is a sure thing. Be in alignment with who you are, and it will be there.
A Year Without a Smartphone showed that outward discipline occurs through inner inertia built in solitude. Someone stepping into unequivocally loving their Creator, by loving themselves, may have difficulty balancing this truth with another – yet is likely to attract their soulmate at this stage to push their expansion. Any hint of growing for each other rather than with each other threatens to take that person’s relationship with The Divine several steps back. As women, we can particularly be vulnerable to the self-fulfilling prophecy where we foster blame for allowing another to drown out our inner wisdom and undermining our God-given gifts, particularly kashf (intuition).
For a battered woman, all they may know in life is pain and relief – physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or overall spiritually. The codependent woman is similar in that underlying all the above scars, to stay in the relationship is to rob herself of her power. Each must physically withdraw until they take comfort in being alone, finding homeostasis. Even if retreat is done collectively (which is encouraged), sacred silence to complete inner work is worthwhile. Until we come to terms with and master ourselves, the absence of sacred space is grounds for spiritual marathons with others that eat away at spiritual progress made.
I say all this to say, claiming space as women is arguably the most sacred. We know the famous stories of The Messengerﷺ retreating to cave Hira to meditate. Do you think Sayyida Khadijah used her beloved’s time away to meander and miss him? One might infer with all the years she had on her Allah worked through her, for who can console a complete soul like his except one who comes from a space of being consoled by The Creator?
As women, we have a responsibility to let the light of the Creator guide through us. To let your heart be filled with nothing but love of The Most Divine. Our light may be more subtle, but there is power in subtlety .
In this delicate, magnetic relationship, we need space to stay focused on the end, not humans. There’s no divinity amongst us, except for God alone. This makes us worthy, no matter what anyone argues to the contrary; this is the well which we pull all inspiration from, naturally.
Because of taking space, you will reflect this inner work outwardly. Your actions will be of more impact. You will gain the best of wisdom. You will succeed on your path.
 Prophetic Tradition, Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2517.  Allah Himself has the name Al-Latif, The Subtle.
Maryam Miller (@soulmatesis) is the author of Loveletters, a satire about soulmates.